Ever wish you could actually call the fashion police on some people?  Those who have read this blog will know that I already consider myself the fashion police.  So what better accessory for the Fashion Cop on the go, than your very own pad of Fashion Citations.

Fashion Citation Pad

 

I only take issue with 1 item: High Waisted Pants.  This isn’t always a bad thing, if done right.  The key, of course would be to do it right – which I have serious doubts about anyone doing that correctly.   And while it’s a bit pricey at $4.50 for 1 pad, I have a few things from Knock Knock and they’re very good quality and worth it for the giggles from your cubicle-buddies.

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I’m not a totally vicious bitch and I rarely complain about some of the stuff people wear, because well, some people don’t have a problem looking like crap in public.  And that’s okay.  For them.  But that doesn’t mean I won’t go off on them here for dressing like they rolled out of bed and put on whatever grimy clothes they found on the floor.

So, I’m against capri pants.  I loathe that they made a comeback a few years (YEARS!) ago and now they are hanging on by a thread.  They are the leggings of the late 90s.  Now, leggings are popular NOW, but in the late 90s, they weren’t.  So the capri pant is out of style.  Particularly the ones that stop like an inch above the ankle.  WHY!?!?!?  That’s so unnecessary and to me, it looks like you just grew too tall for your pants.  It’s tacky and worse, now I have to see your socks.

Which brings me to a sock faux pas.  Seriously, guys.  WHITE SOCKS GO WITH ATHLETIC SHOES.  BLACK SOCKS GO WITH BLACK SHOES.  Also, I am of the belief that if you are wearing blue pants, you should wear brown shoes.  Because then you can wear blue socks.  But if you wear blue pants with black shoes, you should wear black socks.  This is confusing.  But blue socks often look the same as black socks in anything but the brightest light.  So guys, buy black socks.  ONLY. 

Ok – I’m done for this entry.  I’ll have another entry later this week with some shopping tips.  Because everyone seems to need them.

So, since Spring officially began the other day, heralding a new season full of promise.  And ragweed.  And new fashion trends.  I think trendiness is a bit overrated (despite my name).  Classics don’t go out of style and if you follow trends exclusively, you’re setting yourself to always be outdated.

Now, for the spring trends:

COLOR:  There are tons of bright colors this season to choose from and I don’t even feel like there’s only 1 IT COLOR this year like there usually are.  All of the colors are in (just not in the same outfit; the only person that works for is Rainbow Brite).  I say keep whatever bright colors you have and don’t worry about following this trend.

TRIBAL: Ok, this one kind of threw me for a loop.  I have nothing against being inspired by a specific culture, if in fact, it has inspired you.  Somehow, I think the use of kente cloth patterns actually makes it seem less like an homage to Africa than it does anything else.  Of course, we’re the same culture who basically went through all of Africa and “colonized” it, thus starting a metaphorical apocalypse over there that’s still going on.  That said, kente patterns are in.  I’d say get one shirt and work it out that way.  Maybe a skirt.  But definitely keep it to one item for the whole season.  Because I don’t think this look is coming back soon.

FLOWERS: Yeah, you heard that right.  Floral prints are back and in a big way.  This one I’m totally behind as more than a trend.  A great floral print can really turn around a dull black pant.  And also, it’s a classic.  IF it’s a good print.  Avoid small prints and loud ones, too.  For florals, check out the Milla Jovovich line at Target, which is AWESOME.  It’s part of their  GO International rotation and it’s a limited time.  The pieces are pretty well put together and totally cute.

To wrap up: go for the color (you shouldn’t have to buy any, really, unless you just love black); go for the African-inspired look (if you think you can pull it off); and for sure, go for the florals (in bright colors!).

And since my tax refund came in, I’ll be doing a bit of shopping (a very bit as I’m trying to save money, not spend it).

Normally, I don’t really go for Prada. Some of their stuff is truly classic, but then there’s the stuff in the Fall 2008 collection. Let’s start with the visible briefs. I don’t like seeing the boxers peeking over the jeans waistband thing, but at least that’s usually only used for casual dressing. Mostly. And actually, what I hate worse is the boxer briefs showing…it’s not sexy. Underwear should be worn, not seen (except in the bedroom). But then, Prada did this:

Prada Fall 2008

And all I can say is WHY??!!! Who would wear this in public? I mean, I see this all the time at Urban Outfitters. Their cashiers always seem to flash their underwear at me while they fold some shirts with some “witty” phrase emblazoned on them.

And Prada also seems to like the shiny this year. And why? We went through this when men sported the monochrome shimmer during the height of the “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” craze. Seriously. Do we really need anymore shiny shirts and ties.

Lastly, Prada has seriously lost touch with anyone on the street with the addition of the following to their collection:

Prada Fall 2008 - Mens

Yes, that’s a mini-skirt worn on the outside of those pants. How emo and gender-bending. EYEROLL. Now all this being said, I do enjoy Prada. And I might even buy some of those stand-alone collars. But how to wear them without looking like a Chippendale’s dancer, I’ll never know.