Summer season

Ok, so the summer season is upon us which brings about several of my pet peeves.  It seems that the warm weather (or if you live in the South, like I do, the FUCKING HOT weather) turns otherwise normal people into public embarrassments. 

First, sandals.  I can see why they are a staple of warm weather.  Socks make the feet sweat and well, sometimes you get trench foot if you aren’t careful.  But for the love of God and Anna Wintour, PLEASE GET A PEDICURE (Especially men).  There is nothing grosser than seeing a gorgeous guy and then you look down at the feet and there is a nasty yellow toenail.  Gross.  Also, wear sandals when appropriate.  Wearing flip flops to go shopping, well, seems uncomfortable to me, but go for it if that’s your thing.  But wearing flip flops to a crowded bar?  Stupid.  That’s how you get your toes stepped on by people wearing the proper shoes.

Shorts: Oy.  I hate shorts.  Men seem to wear them for the most part correctly.  Women?  I’m sorry, but the length of your shorts should not be equal to the length of your panties.  Also, if your shorts are so short that bending over will make the world your gynecologist, it’s time to buy longer shorts (or invest in better health insurance).  The formal short that was in last summer is still in and I’m for it.  Seriously, it’s a good look (done correctly).

And now that my blood is boiling, it’s time to crank the A/C and sip my cold TaB while I get a pedi. 

 

Fashion at the Park

Argh… I had tickets to 2 shows (the Intermix show last night and the Macy’s show this morning) and missed both of them. Stupid illness. According to my date for both shows, they were both dull although he did add that the INC line from Macy’s had some nice stuff for men this year. I’ll have to take his word for it. Thankfully, he was kind enough to take my tickets and scalp them and pay me my expense back. I’m too broke to be able to throw away $100.

So, looks like I’ll have to wait for October to get here so I can post about the Fall event.

ETA: Only because I just remembered something.  What is with people tucking in shirts without wearing a belt?  It makes your pants look incredibly stupid because there are beltloops there. For a reason.  For a belt.  So wear a stupid belt when you tuck in shirts that are meant to be tucked in.  Or wear the shirt untucked (unless it’s a french-cuff shirt, it doesn’t really matter).

 

Spring has sprung

So, since Spring officially began the other day, heralding a new season full of promise.  And ragweed.  And new fashion trends.  I think trendiness is a bit overrated (despite my name).  Classics don’t go out of style and if you follow trends exclusively, you’re setting yourself to always be outdated.

Now, for the spring trends:

COLOR:  There are tons of bright colors this season to choose from and I don’t even feel like there’s only 1 IT COLOR this year like there usually are.  All of the colors are in (just not in the same outfit; the only person that works for is Rainbow Brite).  I say keep whatever bright colors you have and don’t worry about following this trend.

TRIBAL: Ok, this one kind of threw me for a loop.  I have nothing against being inspired by a specific culture, if in fact, it has inspired you.  Somehow, I think the use of kente cloth patterns actually makes it seem less like an homage to Africa than it does anything else.  Of course, we’re the same culture who basically went through all of Africa and “colonized” it, thus starting a metaphorical apocalypse over there that’s still going on.  That said, kente patterns are in.  I’d say get one shirt and work it out that way.  Maybe a skirt.  But definitely keep it to one item for the whole season.  Because I don’t think this look is coming back soon.

FLOWERS: Yeah, you heard that right.  Floral prints are back and in a big way.  This one I’m totally behind as more than a trend.  A great floral print can really turn around a dull black pant.  And also, it’s a classic.  IF it’s a good print.  Avoid small prints and loud ones, too.  For florals, check out the Milla Jovovich line at Target, which is AWESOME.  It’s part of their  GO International rotation and it’s a limited time.  The pieces are pretty well put together and totally cute.

To wrap up: go for the color (you shouldn’t have to buy any, really, unless you just love black); go for the African-inspired look (if you think you can pull it off); and for sure, go for the florals (in bright colors!).

And since my tax refund came in, I’ll be doing a bit of shopping (a very bit as I’m trying to save money, not spend it).

 

Formal events

Ok, I’m about to get my Nina Van Horn on here (remember her tirade on Just Shoot Me about how no one dresses formally anymore and then she falls in love with the J.Crew catalog and meets a guy named Jay Crew and thinks it’s the founder only it’s not?).  And don’t get me wrong, I’m as casual as the next person.  Hell, I don’t even tuck in shirts that should be tucked in.  As long as the event I’m dressing for is informal.

Case in point: The Oscars.  Are. A. Formal. Event. FORMAL.  That means black tie, gents (which is what I’m really pissed about. Most women understand the necessity of dressing formally at the Oscars).  BLACK TIE.  That means, simply put, a tuxedo.  Cut like a tuxedo.  Not a double-breasted, double-vented overly long cut “blazer” with a tuxedo collar.  It doesn’t work that way.

Now, there are a few people I will forgive this error. 1. Behind the scenes folks.  To me, it’s not that bad for a makeup artist or sound editor to show up wearing a suit.  It works. FOR THEM.  Same with musicians (who, frankly, can wear whatever they damn well please).  I mean, Glen Hansard is dressed pretty decently for a musician:

and he looks perfectly fine here.  FOR A MUSICIAN.  But my dear readers.  It is never ok to show up at a formal event in anything other than Black Tie (unless you are told otherwise). This does not mean that you need to run to Al’s Formal Wear and buy/rent a tux.  It does mean that your shirt needs to require cufflinks, the jacket and pants should be black and your tie should be black (preferably silk).  You can even wear a cumberbund.  Or a vest.  Hell, you can even go with color (solids only, please).  But for all that is good and pure, do not wear a blazer.  It should be a tuxedo jacket.  The collar doesn’t matter (neither does the shirt’s).  And the shoes?  Shiny, black, patent leather oxfords.  Not colored shoes. Not matte finish shoes.  Not cap-toed or wing-tipped.  Spats are optional.

And lastly.  If you are attending a black tie event: WEAR AN UNDERSHIRT.  You will get hot, you will want to take off your jacket; you will NOT want everyone to see your nipples and your underarm sweat seeping through the fabric.

So, please, formal wear for formal events.  (And belt or braces. NOT both.  It bears repeating).

 

Sock garters

I’ve been thinking about this topic ever since I saw Niles the Butler on The Nanny wear a pair of sock garters and wondered why he would wear them with the advent of elastic to hold socks in their place.  I guess it would be in character for an English Butler (played by a southerner) to wear sock garters as they come off as stodgy and old-fashioned.

And yet, if women wear garter belts or garters, it’s considered sexy.  WHY?  I guess men’s legs aren’t as sexualized as women’s which would explain why men don’t wear high heels, either.  However…I think more men should wear sock garters.  Even though no one really sees them.  Because I know that when I wear my pair of sock garters, it feels like I’m just *that* much closer to being really classy and posh.  Now, there is a place to wear them, and that is not jeans, shorts, or khakis.  I’m thinking a dressier pant needs to be worn with them.  Also, I just like a vintage look (and it don’t get much more vintage than sock garters).

Just don’t wear them where anyone but your significant other can view them, or you may just get laughed at.  Also, keep in mind, they do still serve a practical purpose (as I know my socks fall down a bit during the day).

 

Online Shopping

Ok, so even though my bank account is tapped at the mo’ (thank you very much Martha’s birthday night as well as Camel Lights), I still go shopping online fairly regularly. Mostly because I don’t have to leave the comfort of my home and I don’t have to get dressed up for shopping. Which, tangent: why on earth do some store clerks make you feel like crap for wearing anything other than nice clothes. I hate feeling like a total schlub when I’m just looking at some clothes. The male sales associates at Express are the worst. Anyway, I just wanted to throw in some recommendations for great online shopping sites.

• Shoes.com - Oh, how I love them. They aren’t as diverse in selection as zappos.com (they provide Clinton and Stacy’s shoes on What Not to Wear), but they’ll do. And if you are a member of 24 hour fitness, there’s a nice discount there, too. Love it.

• Urban Outfitters - I know, they are terribly “scene’ and “hipster” and trying to find any size that is normal is beyond futile. Apparently every male who shops here is 26×30 for pants measurements. But, they have an awesome catalog of trendy clothes at pretty decent prices. Stay away from the Urban Renewal line of stuff. Why pay $60 for a used track jacket when you can go to Goodwill and get one for $1. Also, track jackets are over. Just sayin’.

• OldNavy.com - They are smartly moving away from their family-friendly theme which is a good thing, in my opinion. The clothes aren’t exactly HUGELY fashion-forward (for men anyway), but they are generally classic and make for good foundation wardrobe pieces (button-downs, khakis and sweaters). They also have a business casual line that looks really sharp compared to Wal-Mart’s (and sometimes cheaper than Wal-Mart’s).

• Target.com - This one is for the ladies; Target’s GO International line is fabulous. They bring in guest designers for limited time lines. Coming up, Milla Jovovich’s line. LOVE IT.

So, there you have it. My favorite places to shop online. Also, I should note that tomorrow is President’s Day and therefore a national shopping holiday. THE SALES! Oh, THE SALES! I’ll be heading out to Macy’s for sure.

 

Fashion Faux Pas Part 1

So, it’s been awhile since I last updated (totally forgot about New York Fashion Week and frankly, I ain’t dealing with it this round anyway). Plus, real life has to take priority. But, I haven’t forgotten about this little blog. I’ve been thinking about some of my least favorite fashion faux pas that I see everyday. I work for a mortgage company that has a “business-casual” approach for most of the company. Can I just lament the fact that formal business attire has been retired? Anyway, here goes:

1. Belt with braces (suspenders):

My issue here is mainly that you are using 2 support accessories that don’t need to be used together. In this picture, the issue is that his braces are the button kind and there’s very little chance that the pants will fall without them. On the other hand, the pants have belt loops and thus look weird without a belt. So, dilemma? Here’s my own verdict: Braces or belt, not both. Generally, go with a belt. Not that braces don’t have a place in men’s fashion, because they do. But if the pants have belt loops, wear a belt!

2. White Socks/Black Shoes

Ok, so how stupid does this look? First, no one can pull this look off (no, not even Michael Jackson [Thriller era]). It’s glaringly obvious that you don’t know what you are doing and it looks incredibly like you do not like the look of an all-black bottom half and so you have decided to give the finger to the fashionistas and wear white athletic socks with formal black shoes (the ones above look like penny loafers, so not formal, but it’s not casual either). Second, it ruins the entire outfit; it’s like you are a plant with wonderful stems and leaves and flowers but a terrible case of root rot. Same problem here. Is it ever ok to wear white socks with black shoes? In my opinion, no. But, if you are wearing black sneakers, then you could get away with it, provided you aren’t wearing pants (shorts work better). But there are black athletic socks that work just as well. You could also use RIT dye to color your white socks black if you are too cheap to buy black socks.

And lastly, because I’m getting hungry and I don’t like doing HUGE entries (that came out wrong).

3. French cuff shirts with no jacket

The french cuff is made for being under a jacket. Plain and simple. I think the issue with this look is that people like the white collar and cuffs with the color body. It’s a nice look, methinks, but you can find this look on regular cuffs. It’s a formal shirt and should be worn with a jacket (I like a single vent in a jacket, but a double vent works, too).

So, that’s it for today. I have a few more fashion peeves that really bother me, but I’ll save those for another entry.

 

Prada Fall 2008 Mens

Normally, I don’t really go for Prada. Some of their stuff is truly classic, but then there’s the stuff in the Fall 2008 collection. Let’s start with the visible briefs. I don’t like seeing the boxers peeking over the jeans waistband thing, but at least that’s usually only used for casual dressing. Mostly. And actually, what I hate worse is the boxer briefs showing…it’s not sexy. Underwear should be worn, not seen (except in the bedroom). But then, Prada did this:

And all I can say is WHY??!!! Who would wear this in public? I mean, I see this all the time at Urban Outfitters. Their cashiers always seem to flash their underwear at me while they fold some shirts with some “witty” phrase emblazoned on them.

And Prada also seems to like the shiny this year. And why? We went through this when men sported the monochrome shimmer during the height of the “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” craze. Seriously. Do we really need anymore shiny shirts and ties.

Lastly, Prada has seriously lost touch with anyone on the street with the addition of the following to their collection:

Yes, that’s a mini-skirt worn on the outside of those pants. How emo and gender-bending. EYEROLL. Now all this being said, I do enjoy Prada. And I might even buy some of those stand-alone collars. But how to wear them without looking like a Chippendale’s dancer, I’ll never know.

 

Fashion at the Park Spring 2008

I just got the e-mail from NorthPark Center, Dallas’s LARGEST and BEST shopping mall, that Fashion at the Park is coming at the end of March.

This year, Simon Doonan, creative director for Barney’s New York will be there (no big whoop…he was there last spring, too) and also, Carolina Adriana Herrera (the daughter of Carolina Herrera and the main face of CH Carolina Herrera).  I don’t know if I can afford to go to any of the shows (they usually cost about $100), but I’m going to try.  I wish I had $1600 to get the extra special ULTRA VIP pass that gives you access to everything.  But I don’t have that dough.  And they’re only making like 30 of those.

Anyway, even if I just end up at the Dillard’s show ($45), I’ll post my pics and any gossip I happen to pick up along the way.

 

Clean clothes…

Ok, so I’ve had many a blogs out on the internets but most of them have failed because I didn’t give a rat’s ass about updating them and quite frankly, most of them were personal diary type shit and that stuff’s always boring (because no one writes down the good stuff anyway).

I think what made me want to start this blog was mainly that I love fashion, but have literally no one in my everyday life with whom I can talk about it. Well, not without a few blank stares. So, here we go. My very own fashion blog. I’ll start with one of my favorite topics: cleaning.

Ironing shirts is a pain in the ass. And anyone who tells you it isn’t is lying. And they probably take all their stuff to a dry-cleaner’s anyway and just tell you they ironed it themselves. Again, liars. But here are a few ironing tips if you don’t want to go to the dry-cleaner’s:

1. Use sizing not starch - Ok, this tip doesn’t really come from me, it comes from Martha Stewart. But, that doesn’t make it any less valid. Sizing is better than starch in most cases as it helps with shape and body of the garment, but doesn’t provide that stiffness that starch does. Nevertheless, both sizing and starch will build up on your iron.

2. Clean the plate! This should stand to reason, but apparently it doesn’t. Nothing will ruin your shirt faster than gunk that’s been built up over the weeks. You can buy cheap iron cleaner by Faultless (makers of starches) and it’ll clean off the plate of gunk. Also, wipe down your iron with a damp cloth after you iron.

3.Bluing - It’s best to use this with dingy whites that you can’t get clean (like really nice linen, broadcloth or oxfords) with just regular detergent and are too nice for bleach (which can break down the fibers in the fabric). Bluing adds a nice light blue tint to the off-white color and makes it look white (optically at least). Add it to the laundry in the separate area you would use to add bleach to the wash cycle.

4.Fabric Softener is kind of a joke. It does really work, but it can contribute to fading and the breakdown of fibers when used in the wash cycle. That’s why I like dryer sheets. Toss one in and it’ll cut out static clean and because it doesn’t penetrate the fibers, it’ll keep the clothes from degrading.

5. The outdoor clothes drying that your grandmother used? It’s a great way to cut down on your carbon imprint (less energy used for the dryer), but it can make your whites dingy if you live in a densely populated area. Frankly, I just use the dryer. But it’s really your call.

With these tips, you shouldn’t need to go to the dry cleaner’s. But then, if you have a $500 gorgeous white oxford from Ralph Lauren, you might not want to chance it with Mrs. Stewart’s Bluing. Just sayin’